Saturday, June 10, 2006

Gothic Lolitas - A TV in Japan Hyper News Special Report

This is a subculture. With the cursory eyeshadow. And striped stockings. On TV. In Japan.

UPDATE: TViJ reader Dave fills in a lot of the Gothic Lolita blanks in the comments. Check it out!

Amazing Animated Spot for Japan's Space Shower TV

This is how you out cool MTV. With CG monsters and animated manga pages. Oh, and head-banging buddha statues. On TV. In Japan.

Any WordPress Experts in the House?

Okay, so here's a secret. I've almost got a new place for this blog and a new look.

I'm pretty happy with it. If you want, you can check it out at

But wait! It's not totally ready yet. In fact, it's got a little ways to go. So don't bookmark it or change anything. Yet. For the time being, this will remain the home of TViJ.

However, I'm running into a couple issues with WordPress and I'd love to be able to pick the brain of someone out there who can drop mad WP knowledge. I'm doing it from scratch and my most recent programming experience involved that little turtle from Logo.

If you can help, either post me a comment down below or send me an email.

Thanks as always!


Three Commercials One Mustache

This is an actor's body of work. In thirty second consumable chunks of weirdness. On TV. In Japan.

Hot Mouse on Mouse Action

This is how you sell online music. With animatronic cyborg sex. Amongst rodents and computer hardware. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Tensai for the tip!

The God Tongue - Could You Resist This Woman's Kisses?

Okay, literally just found this one and it's pretty amazing.

But I must sleep. More words tomorrow. For now:

This is how you test your nerd quotient. By seeing exactly how long you can remember that you weren't supposed to kiss this girl. Who is so into you. And posesses 'The God Tongue'. On TV. In Japan.

Part One:

Part Two:

Friday, June 09, 2006

Pink Lady & Jeff - The Worst American Sitcom About Japan Ever

Tonight I learned something new.

I learned that television can get worse than I ever imagined.

I also learned that when TV gets that bad, it suddenly turns good.

Case in point: Pink Lady & Jeff. It could perhaps be the worst TV show of all time. Sterotypes are in full effect. Check that link for more info.

This clip is interesting in context. It looks like it's the former stars of Pink Lady looking back on their show with some of the comedians from Cocorico.

I'd love to know what they're saying. Do they think the show is bad now? Do they regret the dresses? What are they saying about the samurai guy with the horrible hair?

Whatever. Awesome is served.

Giant Rubber Band Scientifically Thrown From Crane

This is a rubber band. If designed by Godzilla. On TV. In Japan.

Super Mutation! The TMNT Invades Japan

These are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. With extra special mutation crystals. That turn them into reptile Voltron. On TV. In Japan.

Best Of The Week - June 9th Edition

Here it is again:

TV in Japan's Best of the Week

Cyril the Magician Gets All Old and Falls Over.
Furries Sell Bank Services.
Dude Blows Perfect Rings Underwater.
Hard Gay Meets Kids.
Goldar From The Galaxy ZRF.
Japanese Comedians Are Forced To Find Substitutes For Clothes.

Check them out. Extra glee included with every box.

Then come back. Extra glee also availible Sun - Mon. All Hours.


Mr. TV in Japan

Thursday, June 08, 2006

What Happens If You Can't Find Your Swimsuit?

This is a game. Where you have to get naked. Then find a swim suit. That isn't a swim suit. On TV. In Japan.

Romancing Musical Polar Bears With Mints

This is how you sell mints. With polar bears. That can play the bass. And romance your female lead. On TV. In Japan.

Rolly: The Japanese Transvestite Japanese Idol

This is how you wow a nation. With albino contacts and blonde hair. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS: Rolly sings a sad song about a Panda abandoning his/her Monkey lover. On TV. In Japan.

Claymation Food Exceeds All Expectations

This is the opening to an anime series. Minus the anime. And plus animated food panties. And steaks that shake hands. On TV. In Japan.

Amazing Classic Kids Bike Commercial

This is how you sell children's bicycles. With muscle suits and cheap backdrops. And training wheels. On TV. In Japan.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Animated Mushrooms Get Dizzy

This is how you sell mushrooms. With extreme personifcation. On TV. In Japan.

Spitting Image Era Didn't Miss Japan

This is a moment frozen in time. One company's puppets stood above the rest. And then disappeared forever. But first, sold Cherry Coke. On TV. In Japan.

Hard Gay Meets Kids

This is jow you take a fish out of water. By taking him to the fair. And scaring a bunch of little kids. On TV. In Japan.

E-onna A-onna: Disturbing Yet Strangely Intriguing Clip of Writhing Hypnotized Japanese Women

Okay, so I found this clip the other night on a Japanese video blog. I wasn't sure about posting it because it seemed pretty out there.

Of course, then someone pointed out to me that this clip was pretty much everywhere already. Thanks for the morality test Internet! Glad I passed!

Anyways, the clip is below. It's fantastically weird. Info follows.

Be warned: The following contains some sexual-ish content. No real sex but lots of imagined sex. Plus, lots of crotch shots.

I'm just saying don't blame me if your eyeballs explode into flaming bibles.

Anyways, I did some digging using Google's pretty good Japanese to English translator and turned up a couple things on the show's Japanese wikipedia page. Also, hypnotist Brian David Phillips does a great job of breaking it down on his blog.

Things of note:

1. The clip comes from a show called 'E-onna A-onna ' that ran on Fuji TV in Japan from 1997 to 1998. According to the google/wiki, the title translates to 'E-woman A-woman.' What this means I have no idea.

2. Supposedly, the women are all volunteers and know exactly what they were going to be getting into to.

3. Supposedly number two, there's a gong at the beginning of the program that instigates the feelings of arousal. Then, as the 'contestants' continue along the race certain other sounds throw them back into the o-state. At various times across the race, the men standing above the women

4. It seems like the airing of this caused quite a ruckus in Japan. Many viewers thought that this might've been the most vulgar Japanese TV program of all time.

As always, I'll try to dig up more info on this as I go along. If you've got anything you can add to this post, let me know and I'll update it.

BONUS: Get it while you can. An entire episode of 'E-onna A-onna' on YouTube.

Again, strong sexual weather warning remains in effect.

Benny Hill + Japan(Dancing) = This Show

This is a happy pastel world. Where people dance and frolic. And you chastise misbehaving children by making them smell your shoe. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS: Another clip from the same show. Info needed as always. This involves the actor Ken Shimura I think but that's about all I know.

Katana Vs. Massive Machine Gun: The Slow Motion Showcase

This is a showdown of technologies. Where giant bullets destroy a katana. But not before the katana puts up a fight. In awesome-tacular super-slow motion. On TV. In Japan.

Morning Musume Get Down Via Green Screen

This is a the side project of some really big stars. Shot in front of a green screen. With mind-trippingly ridiculous visuals. And rabbit suits. In space. On TV. In Japan.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Microsoft Security Protecting Kids From Weird Disembodied Hands

This is how you pitch security software. With hands. Protruding from laptops. On TV. In Japan.

Card Tricks aka How to Up-Produce a TV Show

This is how you make card tricks cool. With giant fonts and rocked-out excitement. On TV. In Japan.

For the Ladies: Male Shower Scene on Morning Show

This is how you satisfy the female housewife. With a behind-the-scenes on a shower scene. On a morning show. On TV. In Japan.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Ghost Appears in Lounge Singer's Act

This is how you thrill an audience. With awesome pastel suits on sweaty bald men. And ghosts. On TV. In Japan.

Goldar from the Galaxy ZRF: Giant Robot Tricks Kid

This is classic giant robot action. With massive transforming contraptions who sport magnetic powers. And who also sports a truly amazing head of natural blonde hair. On TV. In Japan.

Dubbed. Thank God.

Awesome Video from the 'Pillows' Featuring Puppets

This is how hip Japanese rock bands spend their spare time. In pipe-clustered basements. And mono-syllabic rhyming shirts. Surrounded by cheap puppets. On TV. In Japan.

Michael Jackson Stops the Show at Japanese MTV Awards

This is an example of how much the Japanese love their Michael Jackson. Either that or they're just as shocked as we are that he was acquitted. On TV. In Japan.

Toy Commercial for Japanese Spider-Man Toys

This is how you sell Japanese Spider-Man. With action launching! On TV. In Japan.

Dude Blows Perfect Bubble Rings Underwater

UPDATE: TV in Japan has moved.

Click here to go to this story on the new site.

Then look around.

Or just read the following:

This is a guy born with a M on his hand. His power: to blow perfect bubble rings underwater. On TV. In Japan.

The Final Piece of the Zuiiken English Puzzle

This is Zuiiken English. In context and in full effect. With a bald Westerner playing a drunk salary man. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks go as always to the Skillful Abbot.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Gackt Pitches Emo Mints

This is how J-pop star Gackt spends his free time. Eating emo mints. And wishing they weren't so spicy. On TV. In Japan.

Life-size Cheetah & Pig Selling Bank Services

This is how you sell a bank. With life size furries. Living the good life. On TV. In Japan.

Dragon Taiso aka Green Screen Stretching

This is how you get kids to exercise. With green screens and shots from the zoo. And for the pleasure of being taught by the Japanese Erik Estrada. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS! The same guy apparently did a Disco Martial Arts show as well.

Extended Version of the Japanese Magician Who Sneezes His Head Off

I've posted part of this before but this video includes a whole chunk of Cyril the Magician on the subway falling on people. Good stuff.

Thanks again to Lindsay for the clip!

Average Guy Gets Tricked into Falling Down a Hole

This is Punked. Except instead of celebrities it punks normal people. Who must get really hurt. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks Lindsay for the tip!

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