TV in Japan

Best of the Week - June 30th Edition - PLUS THE NEW TV IN JAPAN!

2006-06-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

This was a nice week. On TV. In Japan.

Enjoy some of the cathode fruits of my digital labor.

Japanese Girls Practice Caligraphy. On Each Other.
Pythagoras Switch is Seasame Street on Physics Crack. The greatest kids show ever.
Two heads play catch.
Awesomely Terrible Kill Bill Parody.
The Chimpan News Channel - News For Animals, By Animals. Pure Monkey Awesomeness.
From the Guys Who Did the "No Laugh or You Get Beat" Show Comes More Funny Punishment.
24 Hours In One Place With Nowhere To Run From Demons = Hilarity.
Cream Pie Torture. For a long, long time.

Hope you can spend some quality time checking these out. Seriously. This is your holiday weekend.

Oh, and make sure you come to the new TV in Japan!

Move Awesome Links for You - The New TV in Japan

2006-06-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, these are just links.

But follow those links to the new world of TV in Japan.

Where clips run free like wine. Come be a wino.

Come see these dazzling gems!

Remember those don't get beat videos? Well, here's a lot more. And they're awesome.
The Star Wars Version is here.
Oh, and these guys get beat for anything. And they can never leave the gymnasium. For 24 hours.

Monkeys Who Run TV Shows at the New TV in Japan

2006-06-27T23:12:00.000-07:00

Can you really afford not to go check it out? I mean, seriously.

You've got the Chimpan Channel, Japan's newest way to get news for animals, by animals.
Plus, some real life Gachapin amazingness.
And, a really crazy Batman parody from the late 80s.

It's all good. Now, in light blue!

At least I think it's light blue. I'm colorblind.

Two New Posts on tvinjapan.com

2006-06-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

Come to the new world. Come to the new TV in Japan.

Come for the Cocorico Kill Bill Parody.
Come for the Real Life Cops Getting Scared.

Come for nachos. Virtual nachos.

Two Heads Play Catch

2006-06-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

Go to the original post now live at tvinjapan.com!

Or enjoy this slightly less exciting copy of that post.

This is how you exercise. When you've got no body. On TV. In Japan.

More Batsu Games with DownTown

2006-06-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

This is a double post. The original is here. Go meet the new TV in Japan.

This is why you must learn to control your emotions. Yet again. Lest you get beat for laughing. On TV. In Japan.

tvinjapan.com is live!

2006-06-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone, I'm officially declaring tvinjapan.com open for business.

I'm going to keep double posting here for a while just to make sure that everyone knows what's happening (and I'm not convinced that the Yahoo servers are doing exactly what I need).

Why am I moving you might ask? And what am I (that's you) going to get out of the deal?

Well, mostly I'm moving because I was sick of not having any sort of category system for people to dip into my archives. After all, I've posted over 350 different videos on this site and most of them get buried real deep real fast just because I like to post so much.

Blogger's been great (especially for a noob like me) but new digs are needed.

Many of you may never have seen some of my best stuff so I hope you can dip deeper into the amazing amount of Japanese TV now available at your fingertips.

Check out the categories (down below, on the right sidebar) on the new site and you'll be able to see all of the posts nicely sorted. Once in a certain category, click on the post to take you to the video.

As of right now, I can't figure out how to have the categories open up to just have the embedded videos. Hopefully some WP genius out there can help me with that.

As far as design goes, I've used the 3k2 template with some help from the Swachuk theme. Oh and big props again to Luis Hurtado for the logo. Cafe Press store (and shirts) to come if you're interested.

Oh, one small, kinda crappy thing. Actually two crappy things.

1. I imported most of the blogger posts/comments about three weeks ago. And since then I've been double posting here. Unfortunately, that means there's no comments on the new site for the past three weeks. Kinda crappy.

2. See how there's 170 Uncategorized posts on the site? That's because I've only been able to go back about 200 posts so far to add categories and the YouTube/Google Video code which mysteriously doesn't come over with the import tool. I'll be updating these over the next month or so and should at some point have an entire library of these clips.

Well, that's about it. Hope you enjoy the new site and that you keep reading/watching TV in Japan.

Orangutan Lights Head On Fire With Lighter

2006-06-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

This is an educated monkey. Who, given a human tool, suddenly shows how much education he still needs to get up to speed. On TV. In Japan.

Homemade Gundam Toy Animation Matches Anime Credits Perfectly

2006-06-26T19:54:00.000-07:00

This is amazing.

This is for any person who ever fooled around with stop motion as a youngster. Your memories of pushing stop and start on that stupid, giagantic VHS camcorder will come flooding back to you.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then go look at the boob dudes.

WARNING: Extreme amateur video here. Also, only partly on TV in Japan. Half in some dudes bedroom.

The Geniuses at Soramimi Hour Interpret Sean Paul

2006-06-26T19:44:00.000-07:00

These are the lyrics to a Sean Paul song. That somehow translates to shoot me in the eye with shampoo. On TV. In Japan.

Weathercaster Feels the Effects of the Weather - In Studio and for Excitement Factor

2006-06-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

This is how you do a weathercast. Where the weather isn't really all that important. It's more about fabric. When it gets rained on. On TV. In Japan.

WARNING: This video contains a wet t-shirt.

Dude in Skull Suit Beats off Five Dudes in Boob Suits

2006-06-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

These are five men. Dressed in boob suits. That is, suits which give them boobs. One of which gives the wearer six. On TV. In Japan.

Best Nerd Punching Commercial Ever

2006-06-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

This is a Japanese internet nerd. That is not that different from an American nerd. Who lives with his parents. And on the internet. And may, under certain circumstances, deserve to be punched. On TV. In Japan.

The Return of the Afterschool Magnetic Club!

2006-06-25T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is how you wear unitards. And carry giant magnets. And rock. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks Josh!

Sumos + Cute Girl in Kill Bill Clothes Hock Snacks

2006-06-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell Pretz. With extreme repetition. And sumos. On TV. In Japan.

Japanese Girls In Bikini Practice Caligraphy - On Each Other

2006-06-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

Hey new visitors to TV in Japan!

Did you know there's a new address/home for TV in Japan?

Seriously, we've now got our own space. It's awesome!

You should go directly to this post there if you want.

Or keep reading the following. But there, we have categories. Good categories.

This is how you push the envelope. With ink, brushes and bikinis. On TV. In Japan.

WARNING: Strongly suggestive without resorting to nudity.

Konami Videos: Salaryman Tests Classic Famicom Games

2006-06-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure what's happening in the following videos but as a gamer I find it inherently compelling.

It's some sort of competition and it looks like the Salaryman has to pass all of these games until he gets let out of the room. But that's just a guess.

If anyone can help me understand, I'd love them forever.

Fat Man on Motorcycle - The New Superhero Hotness

2006-06-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

This is a modern day superman. With kickass dirt bike. Plus, a superfro. And a hanging gut. On TV. In Japan.

TV in Japan: Best of the Week - June 23rd

2006-06-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's that time again.

This week we've got awesome Japan amazingness. As always.

Monkey Talk Show Host Goes Banannas
The Chinese Girls That Split The TV In Japan Audience.
The Best Outhouse Gag of all Time
Puppet Dragon Fondles Boobs - But It's All Cool.
Naked Dominos. Or Mah Jong. Whatever.
Johnny Depp Gets Interviewed By Female Willy Wonka

Send this post around the internet with fury!

Yours,

Mr. TV in Japan

Hard Gay's Weakness - Nipple Tweaks!

2006-06-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

This is how you overpower the always uber-powerful Hard Gay. With extreme nipple torture. On TV. In Japan.

Cute Girls Spelling Out Words With Hips + Air Vent + Miniskirts = Extreme Weirdness

2006-06-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

This is how you teach the alphabet. With rotating hips. And an upskirt cam. On TV. In Japan.

Johnny Depp Gets Interviewed By Japanese Female Willy Wonka

2006-06-23T18:08:00.002-07:00

While the funny happens near the very end of this clip, what's interesting to me is how Depp does such a great job of listening to the Japanese questions like he understands them.

This always happens to me when I'm interviewing people from other cultures, whether they're Japanese or not. It's amazing how good you can get at just smiling and nodding and encouraging people to keep talking.

A Day in the Life of a Genius Monkey - Japanese Style

2006-06-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

This is a brilliant simian. Who enjoys trips to the beach, whale hunting and long walks in the park. And has a wicked sense of fashion. On TV. In Japan.

Japan's Got Talent - The Gong Show + Physical Pain

2006-06-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

Gorillamask visitors and others! First, thanks for visiting.

Then, come check out this clip at it's new home.

Or just look at it here. But eventually you should make your way to tvinjapan.com.

This is a talent showcase. Where the talent really has no talent. And the judges have Doc Brown wigs. Oh, and there's a trap door. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks again to Josh McC!

Hard Gay Performs Live

2006-06-22T22:55:00.000-07:00

This is Hard Gay. Making time live, on stage. On TV. In Japan.

Pythagoras Switch - Most Awesome Kids Show Ever

2006-06-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

This is Mr. Rodgers' show. With pengiuns and TV dogs. And Rube Goldberg devices. On TV. In Japan.

Cute Girls with Tails Dance For You

2006-06-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

This is how furries start. By seeing videos of cute girls. In fuzzy cat ears. On TV. In Japan.

Love Between Goat & Woman Is Solved By Chocolate

2006-06-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

This is about soothing yourself. When your goat leaves you. And all you have is chocolate. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Mr. McCormick, (at least) Prince of TV in Japan.

Even More Japanese Toilet Training - This Time With Furries & Japanese Mr. Hanky

2006-06-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

This is how you teach toddlers to poop in potties. With an animated cat family. And personified waste. On TV. In Japan.

Naked Dominoes - The Next Big Thing

2006-06-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

This is how you play strip poker. Except instead of cards, you use dominoes. Oh, and instead of clothes, you use bigger dominoes. And you play on the beach. On TV. In Japan.

Who is this guy?

2006-06-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

I've seen this guy in so many clips and he's always doing the same thing.

Holding up signs for cute women to read.

Anyone want to give me some additional info on him? He seems to be all over the place.

UPDATE: My readers kick so much ass.

Andy Chong writes in the comments:

he's akiba kanpe, one of the nerd that appeared in Densha Otoko, you might not notice him, since he's not an important character in it. These are the spinoffs comedy where he go to live interviews of idols and tries to make them laugh with his notebook full of funny drawings. There is one with angelina jolie, you can find it at youtube

Lo and behold, Andy's right. This clip is fantastic. And has big lips.

Japanese Jackass - Lots of Stunts Crammed into One Clip

2006-06-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

This is Jackass. With Japanese dudes instead of Johnny Knoxville & Steve O. Who, like their American counterparts, specialize in pain managment. On TV. In Japan.

This May Be the Weirdest Music Video of all Time

2006-06-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

This is a music video. With lots of messed up stuff. On TV. In Japan.

Ringo Starr in Japanese Apple Juice Commercial

2006-06-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

This is a Beatle. Being confused with apple juice. On TV. In Japan.

Potty Training Animation

2006-06-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is how you teach potty training. Featuring animated toilets. With rosy cheeks. On TV. In Japan.

Awesome Commercial for Japanese Video Game Rating Organization CERO

2006-06-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

This is how you explain the Japanese video game rating system. In sing-song. With line drawings of boobs. And truly awesome photoshopping skillz. Yes, that's with a 'z'. On TV. In Japan.

WARNING: May very likely be fake. But is definitely funny.

For the World Cup Fans in the House - Old School Sega Soccer Commercial

2006-06-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell a soccer video game. With serious coaching anger. On TV. In Japan.

Welcome to Fist of the North Star Theater

2006-06-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

This is how you do dinner theater. With anime as your muse. And skinny dudes in black tights as your actors. With obscenely wicked facial features. On TV. In Japan.

Puppet & Female Host Feel Guests' Boobs for Something Important

2006-06-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

This is how you test for implants. With furry partners. On TV. In Japan.

Warning: If you condering boob fondling through clothes kinda taboo, you should take a pass on this clip.

BTW, I remember seeing this show late-night on tv in Japan. For real. In anyone has info or wants to offer up a translation, I'd love it for life.

Outhouse Suddenly Transforms Into Elevator and Waterskis - Suprise!

2006-06-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

This is how you pull the old outhouse-not-an-outhouse prank. With serious hyrdraulics and motor boats. On TV. In Japan.

Rocket Chairs on a Ski Slope - Suprise!

2006-06-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

This is a practical joke. With naked dudes. Unaware they're sitting on rocket chairs. On a ski hill. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Tom NA for the tip!

Black Tights Guy Has Mad Rap Skillz

2006-06-18T23:09:00.000-07:00

This is how you drop knowledge. In black tights. While standing in the frozen tundra. On TV. In Japan.

Forgive Me: This is Chinese But May Become One of the Best Internet Videos Of All Time

2006-06-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, first and foremost, this came from a Japanese blog.

But it's not Japanese. It's Chinese. For that, I am sorry.

But it may perhaps become one of the best internet videos of all time. And for sharing it with you, sorry I am not.

Luckily for us it has subtitles. Which make it funnier. But even without reading along, you can easily get the gist.

After all, little girls making fun of each other tends to transcend cultures.

Oh, and if I'm overhyping this, I'm sorrry. It really is that good. At least to me.

Amazing Teens Show Super-Powered Abilities to Jump Rope & Yo-Yo

2006-06-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

These are gifted teenagers. Who are good with ropes. On TV. In Japan.

P.S. This is a seriously good clip if you're into freaks of skill.

Daft Punk Travels Through Tokyo in Costume

2006-06-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

This is Daft Punk. Sharing their secrets. On the streets of Harajuku. And revealing just how awesome thier robotic heads look in the dark. On TV. In Japan.

More Karakuri Funniest English - With Notes!

2006-06-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

Here's another clip of Karakuri Funniest English uploaded again by Pawel. This time about 'your personal obession'.

Pavel's also included notes on this episode. They follow here:

This episode's topic is 'What is your my boom?' or 'What is your personal obsession?'. Quite a few funny moments here.

A couple of vocabulary words that might be handy:

gaijin = foreigner

soidaigomi = Large garbage. In other words, things like furniture or appliances that are only allowed to be put out on certain days. Literally written as 'rough, large, garbage'.

tansu = a dresser (furniture).

Air Freshener Commercial Featuring Multiple Samurai

2006-06-18T20:34:00.000-07:00

This is how you clean stink. In the samurai village. Without a plug-in. On TV. In Japan.

Classic 70s Japanese Battery Commercial

2006-06-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

This is the early version of the Energizer Bunny. Which suprisingly included an Energizer human being. Who, unlike the bunny, doesn't keep going. On TV. In Japan.

Blackboard Manga - Not TV but Awesome Nonetheless

2006-06-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

I had to post about this. I'm sorry that it's not a TV clip.

Manga artist/writer Inoue Takehiko of Slam Dunk drew this series of illustrations on a blackboard in a Japanese school.

I'm really not a manga fan but, really, this is kind of amazing.

We shall now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Salarymen Exercise in Chairs - The New Fitness

2006-06-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

This is how you exercise at work. With herky-jerky motions. And with a rainbow as a backdrop. On TV. In Japan.

More Monkeys Hosting Late Night Talk Shows

2006-06-17T21:24:00.000-07:00

This is an extended clip of the monkey hosting the talk show. Minus the molestation. Plus, another monkey. Who attempts a molestation of her own. On TV. In Japan.

Cute Girl Gets Athlete's Foot

2006-06-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell foot powder. With cute girls. Who can't stand to look at their feet. Even though the little virus is just so precious. On TV. In Japan.

Josh knows. What's on TV. In Japan.

Karakuri Funniest English: Where One Crazy Westerner Solicits Mistranslations

2006-06-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

This is how you teach English. Through verbal slight-of-hand. And awesome miscommunication. On TV. In Japan.

First: "Please tell me your 'ya cha ta'!

Then: "Please tell me your 'saikin oo nandesu'!

Thanks to Pawel Szymczykowski for the clips!

NOTE: Pawel uploaded these clips to YouTube himself from old video tapes he made himself in Japan. If you have old video tapes, please do the same.

People like Pawel are why YouTube rocks so much. If you don't have the time (or the desire) to upload them, send them to me! Seriously. I'll even pay shipping for some cool stuff.

Drop me an email if you've got something cool!

TV in Japan: Best of the Week! June 9 -16

2006-06-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

Here they are. Bask in their glory.

The TV in Japan picks of the week!

The God Tongue - Nerds Can't Resist Kisses Forever
Gothic Lotitas - Because female Japanese jocks needed someone to beat up.
Four Square + Ping Pong = Awesome - Did I mention everyone's wearing radiation suits?
Ramen Noodle Superhero - He fights crime with soy sauce guns and projectile vegtables.
Another Zuiiken English Moment - Because learning English should always be this much fun.

Go forth and Japanify.

As always, thanks for reading/watching!

Surprise English Lessons - That Sucks!

2006-06-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is how you teach English. Without preparation. And really without any sense of reason whatsoever. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Josh for this!

Even More Awesome Giant Robot 70s Japanese TV

2006-06-15T19:44:00.000-07:00

These are the fathers of the Power Rangers. With similiar foes. And the same crappy costumes. On TV. In Japan.

Dance You Fool, Dance - In Black Pants.

2006-06-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

This is a former TV in Japan star. With black tights. Dancing live. On TV. In Japan.

Zuikken English Back in the House - All Crazy All the Time

2006-06-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

Mr. Skillful Abbot has graced us with another amazing round of these treasured articfacts.

Are you ready for serious Japanese lessons mixed with aerobics for German men? Then look below (purest hilarity starts at :56 seconds in):

Here, a star of Zuiiken English reads from a collection of J-Pop songs with soft focus and soothing sound effects.

And finally, some context for one of the original Zuikken Enlgish clips. There's a reason why the Zuiiken Girls are asking to 'take your hands off me' and it involves men with hankerchiefs tied to their heads.

Mystery solved. TV in Japan. It's kind of like Lost. Without Walt.

Thanks again to the Skillful Abbot for these finds!

Talking Cats = Television Gold in any Country

2006-06-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell cat food. By employing Toonces-esque technology. On TV. In Japan.

Weird Sparkling Water Ads Features Awesome Dancing

2006-06-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

This is how you construct an ad campaign. With a naked guy wearing a tiger mask. Who finishes with a refreshing 'o' face. On TV. In Japan.

Or then there's this guy. Who has something wrong with his crotch. On TV. In Japan.

Way more of these here. If you want them. And I know you do.

Really Terrible Ways to Wake Up On Japanese TV

2006-06-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

These are unique alarm clocks. Made of gunshots, bazookas and unexpected horse rides. On TV. In Japan.

Gachapin Fan Manga + Serious Off Roading By A Furry

2006-06-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

This is Gachapin.

If you don't know Gachapin, then you must know this about Gachapin.

He has awesome extreme sports abilities.

He has been trained in weapons of mass destruction.

He has mad rockclimbing skills.

But did you know that he has a dedicated fan art community? He's in with both the dudes from Pulp Fiction & Batman. Seriously.

Also, he can ride a motorcycle like a bat out of hell. A polyester bat. On TV. In Japan.

Yama Yo! - The Next Big Trio + Pure Syncronized Dancing

2006-06-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

This is utter weirdness. With white hair and jumpsuits. And somesort of supernatural overtones. On TV. In Japan.

Awesomely Surreal Rap Video With Fencing Animal Headed Creatures

2006-06-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

This is how you put rap to video. With a Liberace stand-in. Plus pigs and monkeys. Fencing. On TV. In Japan.

Muscle Wrestling Action Figures Star in Anime

2006-06-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

This is a call back to our youth. Where plastic figures dance. And make romance. On TV. In Japan.

All hail Josh McCormick, new prince of TV in Japan.

Exceptionally Strange Anime With Talking Animals

2006-06-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

This is your typical anime. Where cats and children go to school together. Along with cannibalistic pigs. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS: Subtitles provided!

A Visit From An Old Friend: Japanese Spider-Man!

2006-06-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

This is how you soundly defeat enemies. With badass miniatures. On TV. In Japan.

Ramen Noodle Superhero Has Guns Of Soy Sauce

2006-06-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

This is Superman. With noodles for brains. Literally. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks Josh McCormick. You are my new hero.

Four Way Ping-Pong Plus Silver Suits = Awesomely Weird Japanese TV

2006-06-11T22:36:00.000-07:00

This is ping-pong. Squared. And then covered in tin foil. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks Josh McC for the tip!

Notes From My Virtual Travels Abroad

2006-06-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

I often visit Japanese sites and use Google's pretty good translation software to understand a little of what's there.

Of course, sometimes, I get a whole different picture of what's here.

Like this:

Here's the link if you're into goo.

Chimp Hosts Talk Show, Gets Fresh With Guest

2006-06-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

This is Conan O'Brien. As a chimp. On TV. In Japan.

Fish Fight! - Best Japanese Music Video Ever

2006-06-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

This is how you parody Japanese boy band culture. With green screens. And fish heads. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Jennifer Nielsen for the tip!

Follow Up Punishment to Mechaike Counting Game

2006-06-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

Do you remember this counting game video where the dudes with huge hair went in circles on a bunch of motorcycles?

Well, here's what happens when one of them screws up.

Provided to YouTube by the awesome Hello! Project provider of many fine TV in Japan videos.

Real Life Koala Bear Fight

2006-06-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

These are loveable Koala bears. With a serious bone to pick. On TV. In Japan.

Gothic Lolitas - A TV in Japan Hyper News Special Report

2006-06-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is a subculture. With the cursory eyeshadow. And striped stockings. On TV. In Japan.

UPDATE: TViJ reader Dave fills in a lot of the Gothic Lolita blanks in the comments. Check it out!

Amazing Animated Spot for Japan's Space Shower TV

2006-06-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

This is how you out cool MTV. With CG monsters and animated manga pages. Oh, and head-banging buddha statues. On TV. In Japan.

Any WordPress Experts in the House?

2006-06-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's a secret. I've almost got a new place for this blog and a new look.

I'm pretty happy with it. If you want, you can check it out at tvinjapan.com.

But wait! It's not totally ready yet. In fact, it's got a little ways to go. So don't bookmark it or change anything. Yet. For the time being, this will remain the home of TViJ.

However, I'm running into a couple issues with WordPress and I'd love to be able to pick the brain of someone out there who can drop mad WP knowledge. I'm doing it from scratch and my most recent programming experience involved that little turtle from Logo.

If you can help, either post me a comment down below or send me an email.

Thanks as always!

Gavin

Three Commercials One Mustache

2006-06-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

This is an actor's body of work. In thirty second consumable chunks of weirdness. On TV. In Japan.

Hot Mouse on Mouse Action

2006-06-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell online music. With animatronic cyborg sex. Amongst rodents and computer hardware. On TV. In Japan.

Thanks to Tensai for the tip!

The God Tongue - Could You Resist This Woman's Kisses?

2006-06-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, literally just found this one and it's pretty amazing.

But I must sleep. More words tomorrow. For now:

This is how you test your nerd quotient. By seeing exactly how long you can remember that you weren't supposed to kiss this girl. Who is so into you. And posesses 'The God Tongue'. On TV. In Japan.

Part One:

Part Two:

Pink Lady & Jeff - The Worst American Sitcom About Japan Ever

2006-06-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight I learned something new.

I learned that television can get worse than I ever imagined.

I also learned that when TV gets that bad, it suddenly turns good.

Case in point: Pink Lady & Jeff. It could perhaps be the worst TV show of all time. Sterotypes are in full effect. Check that link for more info.

This clip is interesting in context. It looks like it's the former stars of Pink Lady looking back on their show with some of the comedians from Cocorico.

I'd love to know what they're saying. Do they think the show is bad now? Do they regret the dresses? What are they saying about the samurai guy with the horrible hair?

Whatever. Awesome is served.

Giant Rubber Band Scientifically Thrown From Crane

2006-06-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

This is a rubber band. If designed by Godzilla. On TV. In Japan.

Super Mutation! The TMNT Invades Japan

2006-06-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

These are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. With extra special mutation crystals. That turn them into reptile Voltron. On TV. In Japan.

Best Of The Week - June 9th Edition

2006-06-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

Here it is again:

TV in Japan's Best of the Week

Cyril the Magician Gets All Old and Falls Over.
Furries Sell Bank Services.
Dude Blows Perfect Rings Underwater.
Hard Gay Meets Kids.
Goldar From The Galaxy ZRF.
Japanese Comedians Are Forced To Find Substitutes For Clothes.

Check them out. Extra glee included with every box.

Then come back. Extra glee also availible Sun - Mon. All Hours.

Yours,

Mr. TV in Japan

What Happens If You Can't Find Your Swimsuit?

2006-06-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

This is a game. Where you have to get naked. Then find a swim suit. That isn't a swim suit. On TV. In Japan.

Romancing Musical Polar Bears With Mints

2006-06-08T19:50:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell mints. With polar bears. That can play the bass. And romance your female lead. On TV. In Japan.

Rolly: The Japanese Transvestite Japanese Idol

2006-06-08T19:36:00.000-07:00

This is how you wow a nation. With albino contacts and blonde hair. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS: Rolly sings a sad song about a Panda abandoning his/her Monkey lover. On TV. In Japan.

Claymation Food Exceeds All Expectations

2006-06-08T19:29:00.000-07:00

This is the opening to an anime series. Minus the anime. And plus animated food panties. And steaks that shake hands. On TV. In Japan.

Amazing Classic Kids Bike Commercial

2006-06-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell children's bicycles. With muscle suits and cheap backdrops. And training wheels. On TV. In Japan.

Animated Mushrooms Get Dizzy

2006-06-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

This is how you sell mushrooms. With extreme personifcation. On TV. In Japan.

Spitting Image Era Didn't Miss Japan

2006-06-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is a moment frozen in time. One company's puppets stood above the rest. And then disappeared forever. But first, sold Cherry Coke. On TV. In Japan.

Hard Gay Meets Kids

2006-06-07T20:52:00.000-07:00

This is jow you take a fish out of water. By taking him to the fair. And scaring a bunch of little kids. On TV. In Japan.

E-onna A-onna: Disturbing Yet Strangely Intriguing Clip of Writhing Hypnotized Japanese Women

2006-06-07T01:08:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I found this clip the other night on a Japanese video blog. I wasn't sure about posting it because it seemed pretty out there.

Of course, then someone pointed out to me that this clip was pretty much everywhere already. Thanks for the morality test Internet! Glad I passed!

Anyways, the clip is below. It's fantastically weird. Info follows.

Be warned: The following contains some sexual-ish content. No real sex but lots of imagined sex. Plus, lots of crotch shots.

I'm just saying don't blame me if your eyeballs explode into flaming bibles.

Anyways, I did some digging using Google's pretty good Japanese to English translator and turned up a couple things on the show's Japanese wikipedia page. Also, hypnotist Brian David Phillips does a great job of breaking it down on his blog.

Things of note:

1. The clip comes from a show called 'E-onna A-onna ' that ran on Fuji TV in Japan from 1997 to 1998. According to the google/wiki, the title translates to 'E-woman A-woman.' What this means I have no idea.

2. Supposedly, the women are all volunteers and know exactly what they were going to be getting into to.

3. Supposedly number two, there's a gong at the beginning of the program that instigates the feelings of arousal. Then, as the 'contestants' continue along the race certain other sounds throw them back into the o-state. At various times across the race, the men standing above the women

4. It seems like the airing of this caused quite a ruckus in Japan. Many viewers thought that this might've been the most vulgar Japanese TV program of all time.

As always, I'll try to dig up more info on this as I go along. If you've got anything you can add to this post, let me know and I'll update it.

BONUS: Get it while you can. An entire episode of 'E-onna A-onna' on YouTube.

Again, strong sexual weather warning remains in effect.

Benny Hill + Japan(Dancing) = This Show

2006-06-07T00:58:00.000-07:00

This is a happy pastel world. Where people dance and frolic. And you chastise misbehaving children by making them smell your shoe. On TV. In Japan.

BONUS: Another clip from the same show. Info needed as always. This involves the actor Ken Shimura I think but that's about all I know.

Katana Vs. Massive Machine Gun: The Slow Motion Showcase

2006-06-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

This is a showdown of technologies. Where giant bullets destroy a katana. But not before the katana puts up a fight. In awesome-tacular super-slow motion. On TV. In Japan.

Morning Musume Get Down Via Green Screen

2006-06-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

This is a the side project of some really big stars. Shot in front of a green screen. With mind-trippingly ridiculous visuals. And rabbit suits. In space. On TV. In Japan.

Microsoft Security Protecting Kids From Weird Disembodied Hands

2006-06-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

This is how you pitch security software. With hands. Protruding from laptops. On TV. In Japan.

Card Tricks aka How to Up-Produce a TV Show

2006-06-06T20:36:00.000-07:00

This is how you make card tricks cool. With giant fonts and rocked-out excitement. On TV. In Japan.

For the Ladies: Male Shower Scene on Morning Show

2006-06-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

This is how you satisfy the female housewife. With a behind-the-scenes on a shower scene. On a morning show. On TV. In Japan.

Ghost Appears in Lounge Singer's Act

2006-06-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

This is how you thrill an audience. With awesome pastel suits on sweaty bald men. And ghosts. On TV. In Japan.